A few of my reflections that come to mind: When I was a student in high school, I had such ambition, a little bit of a feminist attitude, and wanted to show the world what I was capable of. I wanted to be a business woman, with suit pants and blazer, high heels of course, and a briefcase...the whole shebang. Chief financial officer, Vice President of a Big Wig Bank...perhaps even Speaker of the House...haha, someone who was respected in the professional world. Needless to say, as I came closer to graduation God worked on my heart. He helped me to see that my biggest blessing would be to raise a family and to share God's love with others. I was also led to choose teaching as a profession. No business suits, respect is questionable on some days, but I knew that God was leading me in this direction. As I went to College and began working on my Associate's degree, God worked on me some more. I was attending FSU. I worked my tail off in high school, and felt like the University was where it was at. Then I began to seriously consider the idea of going on a 18 month mission to teach about Jesus Christ. God had inspired me, lifted me, changed me, His Gospel brought me Joy and Peace and I needed to share it. However, the expense of a mission weighed on me. I knew I would need to move back home and save money and go to the Community College, I found the humility necessary to follow God's will. I finished the fall semester at FSU and then gave up my University.
I loved my mission. The opportunity I had to serve is among the greatest of my blessings I have received. Upon arriving home, I once again embarked on my desire to attend a University. I had my heart set on the right school this time, UF, "Go Gators", and was accepted into their Proteach Master program. I was thrilled. However, God once again had another path. I met Joey, fell in love, and started classes just 6 weeks before being married. Joey and I were both anxious to start a family, and we both really wanted for me to have the privilege to stay home with the kids. I knew the demands of my program of UF would not work. Three weeks into the program I withdrew, probably begrudgingly, but I knew it was the right thing. I registered with Saint Leo and enrolled to receive my BA in Psychology where I could finish completely online. I didn't know, but God knew that we would indeed be so blessed to start our family literally right after being married. Here I am now, 10 years later, I stayed home 9 beautiful years with my children. God does indeed use love-inspired correction to guide us to a future we could not envision ourselves. He knows the better way for us. I have been working full-time for just over a year, I take my youngest to a babysitter who I consider to be an angel, and get off early enough to still spend a big part of the day with her, not to mention the entire summer. I get to work at the same school that all three of my other kids attend. I had a path, a plan, but God's was better. I am now working on choosing a Master Program, and now years later I may even get to attend an awesome University like I have always wanted. However, God may yet again have another path...time will tell.
There were too many moments to count where God's correction did not come easy. I am a stubborn gal. I remember wrestling, trying to map out other ways, sometimes even laying out alternative plans to God... how prideful I can be. There were times that I may have missed God's path because of my pride and stubbornness. The reflections I listed were the times I followed when God corrected me, but I know there were other times he tried and I did not listen. I could have even missed out on some beautiful blessings at the end of the paths that I chose not to take.
Elder Todd Christofferson said in his address, "that there is one practice we need to adopt if we are to meet God's expectations, and that is to willingly accept and even seek God's correction." Boom! Willingly? Seek correction? Haha, I am picturing myself saying in one big breath, "Hey, God. I came up with this plan, looks good right? Ok, great, because I am taking it." There is no seeking for correction in that conversation. Or, how about this one. "Hey, God, you think it's best for me to take this path? This one right here? What about that one over there though, I mean it seems to be just as good if not better right? Hold on let me show you the pros/ cons list I made, maybe that will change your mind, still no, ok well I guess your path will have to work then..." That is definitely not willingly. Needless to say I still have some work to do.
I am so grateful that our Savior Jesus Christ provides us with the opportunity to repent and try our best to better. We can all reach our greatness. Because of our Savior it is not about the path that we have taken or missed in our past, it is about the paths and the corrections we follow right now. I pray I will be more humble and say the famous words of our Savior more often, "Not my will but thine be done." That I will seek God's corrections and willingly follow them, because He is our gardener and He knows how to help us reach our greatest potential. Even with my weaknesses God in His abundant mercy has guided me to a future that I could not have envisioned for myself. I am so blessed. I can't wait to see where all the future paths lead as I strive to seek correction and willingly follow. Digging deeper, one day at a time.
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